Letter Number One-Hundred Seventy-Four.

Dear Key Lime Pie,

...ahem.
Thank you for bein' a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
Your heart is true; you're a pal and a confidant
And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say "Thank you for bein' a friiiiiiiiend"...

Okay, thanks!

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Seventy-Three.

Dear PostSecret Readers Who Suggested A Warning Be Put Up About The Fake Larvae Boob Picture,

Here it is:

WARNING: YOU'RE FRICKIN' READING POSTSECRET.

Ta-daaaaa!

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Seventy-Two.

Dear Patrick Swayze,

Like most men, it took you dressing like a woman for me to realize how much I was underestimating your talent.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Seventy-One.

Dear Randall Munroe,

My [unprovoked] dear friend has decided to attempt to make me your






.

Be on the look-out for a hyper-excited geekgirl...or eight-hundred.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Seventy.

Dear Push-Up Bras,

My tatties hurt. Does that mean it's working?

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Sixty-Nine.

Dear White Chocolate,

I seriously doubt you are the favorite chocolate of anyone over ten years old.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Sixty-Eight.

Dear Rich People Who Come To My Coffee House,

What gall you have seeking pity from your working class barista about the taxes you'll "endure" for making over 250,000 a year. You aren't going to "lose all your money to the government" now, nor should I feel bad for you if you somehow can't afford $5.00 espresso drinks with $3.00 pastries every morning (I'd factor in tip, but - let's face it - you don't fucking do that anyway) for the rest of your life while some people don't have enough to eat any kind of breakfast.

Am I supposed to be worried that:

1. this probably won't have that big of an effect on your stupidly-rich asses anyway?
2. if it miraculously did, you might realize what most of the country is going through every fucking day and stop being the greedy, selfish sacks of crap you are now?

I'm really fucking moved by your plight.

Love,
Kymba

P.S. This is unapologetically my angriest letter to date. You guys suck.

Letter Number One-Hundred Sixty-Seven.

Dear Attempts To Keep This Blog Apolitical,

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Sixty-Six.

Dear Americans,

If you don't vote tomorrow, I will drink Traditional Medicinals Smooth Move and come to your house.

Fill in the rest with your imagination.

Love,
Kymba

P.S. Happy Election Day!