Letter Number Two-Hundred Four.

Dear Post Office,

I'm sorry what my horrible, selfish online letter-writing is doing to your business! I never meant to hurt you, honest! I think you are great, and not just because part of me really wants to be a mail carrier. Well, that's partly it.

Therefore, in April I am going to commit to writing and sending one real-life letter for each electronic letter written.

I love you, man!

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number Two-Hundred Three.

Dear "My Top 5 Beers" Participators On Facebook,

Putting "Fat Tire" as one of your favorite beers does not make up for the fact that your other four have the words "Bud", "Miller", "Lite", or some combination thereof, in them.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number Two-Hundred Two.

Dear Joaquin Phoenix,

I don't like celebrity gossip...

...but what the fuck happened to you, buddy?


Besides lots and lots of drugs...


...already got that one.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number Two-Hundred One.

Dear Oh!s,

The way you cut the roof of my mouth and make it swell is a small price to pay for your wonderfully crunchy deliciousness

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number Two-Hundred.

Dear Vagina,

You are being unreasonable.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Ninety-Nine.

Dear Patchwork Shorts,

As the weather gets nicer and nicer, I can't help but wonder: ARE YOU OUT OF STYLE YET?!

Love,
Kymba

P.S. The past two summers have exuded some definite lame-itude due to your existence.
P.P.S. Don't even bring up those patchwork panties I saw once. Holy frick.