Letter Number One-Hundred Ninety-Eight.

Dear Shia LeBeouf,

No matter how much stubble you attempt to grow, or how many action movies you're in...you will never look not-twelve-years-old.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Ninety-Seven.

Dear Webcomics,

Reading your early updates before going to bed is giving me very little reason to get up in the morning. :(

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Ninety-Six.

Dear Hippies,

I understand that you strongly relate to the independent, non-conformist mindset of the cat, especially ones that roam the outdoors starting scratchfests with those bastard pro-corporate animals in your yard, and come home with their prance of superiority to the organic food you bestow upon it in your co-op style housing...

...but I wanna live there too.

...freakin' allergies.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Ninety-Five.

Dear Mint Chocolate-Covered Cashews,

I wasn't sure at first...but YES. YES.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Ninety-Four.

Dear Ugly (Being It, Not Wearing It),

I wish you were "in".

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Ninety-Three.

Dear Year-Old Growler I Never Cleaned Out Sitting In The Corner,

Ruh-roh...

Love,
Kymba

Guest Letter Wednesdays! Number Twenty-Three: (t)WOO-FER WEDNESDAY!

Dear One Panel Comics,

Your simplicity is what makes you so brilliant and funny. Your syntax is that rare bridge where real speak meets internet speak and where metaphor gets translated into its purest form of humor: the short, spunky, mental image. So in an attempt to be as brief as you are: hey thanks. you're great.

Love,
Kate.

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Dear Kym,

If you make this for me: http://thea-trical.blogspot.com/2009/01/happiest-cylon.html I will play your vagina like a harmonica.

Love,
David

Letter Number One-Hundred Ninety-Two.

Dear YahooMail,

The animated ads on your site are the most obnoxious of any email provider. If I have to see one more person with anatomically impossible fat distribution jiggling wildly while I try to check my "make your man's carrot grow" and "off the lights unleash the terror in your pants" emails, bitches gon' get choked.

Love,
Kymba

Letter Number One-Hundred Ninety-One.

Dear Hawaiian Shirts With Faded Designs So It Looks Like You're Wearing Your Shirt Inside Out,

Since we're on this Fashion Police trend...yeah, you.

Love,
Kymba