Letter Number Fifty-Four.

Dear Silk (the almost entirely unknown R&B group, not the fabric),

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIzb32F6ZLA&feature=related

I know you tried here, and I, as a listener, appreciate your effort. However, as a video, there are several reasons this couldn't possibly get you laid (this is not a comprehensive list, either):

1. There is only one woman in the video, and you all never come anywhere near her (except some ghostly outline of her on your rotating stage thing).
2. The verse singer spends the whole time just sitting in a chair, though in the second verse he's in a more "freaky" position...hell yeah, backwards chair action.
3. "Twenty-four carat gold" bad-ass player wannabe motion.
4. In the second chorus, one of your guys does an awkward humping thing.
5. I'm no fashionista, but vertical stripes and yellow pants...goo. I'll kinda let you off on that one, though, because it was the 90s.
6. Camera work at "Aye yi yi yi yi!" - Holy seizure, Batman.

Maybe you can try harder on your next music video...oh, sorry.

Love,
Kymba

P.S. I'd say take a lesson from Boyz II Men, but in "I'll Make Love to You" the girl and guy are only in the same place when he's installing a security system for her house.